Over 3 years...! And no-one told me...!!

Hi Holly,

This is a bad week... I've just found out that you moved from Westham in August 2003, and that you've been living at PineTrees since then. You know, one of the last things that Richard ever said to me was that you would always know that I was your father... If he was honourable enough to stand by that statement, then surely I could have been told that you had moved so at least I didn't have to spend 3 years getting stressed out every time another Christmas or birthday present was returned... I know they want to live as though I don't exist, but I do Holly - and even though he has brought you up, he will never be your father - step-father is all he will ever be...

I'm sorry if I'm sounding resentful today, but finding out where you are has really brought home to me today how much I have given up - just because your mother didn't want me to be part of your life... it could all have been so different... I see that they have even changed your name - which incidentally is illegal for them to do without my permission, which I obviously have never given. Like your Birth Certificate says, you are Holly Ann Hudson - a fact of which I hope one day you will be proud... My father made me a Hudson, and he was a fine man - a man of whom I have always been very proud to be a son. Had he lived, he would have been very proud of you too, and maybe he would have helped me to avoid losing your childhood as I have...

It's nearly Christmas, and I sent you a card yesterday - I hope you get this one, and I hope even more that you contact me. I put my number in the card, and I have bought you a present, which you can have whenever you want. I'll send you a birthday card and a cheque next week so that you can buy something nice for yourself - I wish I knew what that was, but.... maybe one day...

I can't believe that you are nearly a teenager - in my mind, you are still that 6 year old who used to give me big hugs - I'm sure things have changed a bit!

I've had a really busy time at work recently, but it's all good stuff - Hudson Bay Financial is thriving, and we should have our best ever year this year. Pip and I also managed to go and spend a week with your Uncle Paul and Aunt Darcy in Ras al Khaimah - it was our first time in the Middle East and it was a bit of a culture shock - they aren't keen on seeing exposed legs out there, so I may have shocked one or two of them with my holiday shorts..!

Ian is off on his 3 month tour of the Far East straight after Christmas - he's going to Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong and China - and if he's got any money left at the end of his trip, he might pop over to Japan too. I've told him that I want a schedule of everywhere he has got planned to go - I'm looking forward to following his travels on the map and hearing the stories of what he gets up to...

Katie is still working with her problem children and Michael is still trying to work out what to do with his life - he's decided that he's not going to go to University now, so he's going to go straight into a career - he just can't decide what as yet...

Well Holly, I've got to go now, but I really hope that you have a fabulous Christmas and that you get what you want. I know what I want, and I just hope that by this time next year, I've got it...

All my love as ever,

Dad.
xxx