AugustBlog...

Hi Holly,

Another 2 months gone and loads of happenings... Mikey got his GCSE results today - 3A's and 6A*'s!! Obviously the boy has my brains (except he's about 3 grades higher than I ever was...) Hopefully you'll do as well yourself when the time comes.

We've also been to Florida for a family holiday - Katie came too. It was mostly great fun, although I think Kate missed her boyfriend quite a lot. Pip and I went on all the rollercoasters - several times! - and the boys became experts at the 'Men in Black' ride at Universal Studios. We were quite lucky with the weather, as it was quite good when we were there, but last week they had a Hurricane which flattened half the State, so we're glad we avoided that.

Jasper the bionic cat goes back to the vet on Tuesday for (hopefully) his final check-up, after which he will be allowed outside again. (He hasn't been outside for 3 months!) The poor boy is champing at the bit to get outside, although he does now walk with a bit of a limp. Hopefully, he will stay well away from roads and cars from now on...

I was thinking the other day, that you've probably been told that I don't want anything to do with you and have never paid any money for you since your mother left etc etc. Since you'll probably be old enough to understand by the time you read this, I just want you to know that neither of these things are true. I desperately tried to get reasonable access to you when your Mum went, but she was very determined that I should never see you again - that in fact is exactly what she told your Aunt Diane - that I would never see you again. Her determination for this to happen was the reason that she used the one 'weapon' that she knew would get to me - the boys... The stories she told you about them were most certainly untrue, but with that type of malevolence being spread, I had to make a choice - either to continue to press for access to you or to risk them being investigated by Social Services for something they hadn't done. I hope you can understand why I had to stop seeing you... I told your mother that if she wouldn't let me see you then I was going to stop paying her the weekly maintenance I had agreed for you - and that I would pay it into an account in your name instead. This is what I did (hoping that it would only be a temporary arrangement). 5 years later, I am still paying into your account each week and you are getting quite rich!!

I hope that you were told I said this - although I bet you weren't... I was just told that Richard didn't care about the money because he was quite capable of looking after 'his' family. Well Holly, you aren't his daughter, you're mine and I hope that the good parts of me are strongly burning in you. I hope that you are independent, capable, willing to stand up for yourself and not one to suffer fools gladly....

If I'm still here, I hope we can talk - if I'm not, I always loved you, I never stopped thinking about you and I wish more than anything that we could have been Dad and daughter for at least some of your life past the age of 4...

I'll write again soon,

Love Dad xxx